Endangered cinema subscription service MoviePass has won the hearts of people all over Redding, but recent financial woes have put its future into jeopardy. In times of crisis such as these, many turn to the church. Redding megachurch Bethel has this message: stop.
"MoviePass is nowhere near God's radar," church leaders announced with exasperation, "so stop asking for intercessory prayer to save the fledgling company. It will sink or swim on its own merit." Between audible wailing and gnashing of teeth from the crowd, they added, "Besides: everyone knows God's thrown in with Cinemark Movie Club."