The International Space Station has had trouble seeing into space while passing over Redding at night. The culprit? Apparently it’s the Taylor Motors parking lot. “They’re just so bright,” says one spokesman for NASA. “We’d like to be able to look into the cosmos and dream. That’s why we all got into this business: looking and dreaming. But with Taylor Motors shooting off a concentrated beam of dream-killing Space Blindness, our astronauts are dreamless, hopeless. They're just wasting away up there.”
Taylor Motors has responded with a willingness to cooperate with NASA, but only after the next Sellathon. “Of course,” they add, “once the new models are out, all bets are off.”