Redding Jefferson
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Redding Jefferson

Redding Jefferson
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This Site is Satire
About the Author
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Aaron Steinmetz
June 20, 2020

911 Lobbies to Change Name of the Diestelhorst Bridge

Aaron Steinmetz
June 20, 2020
911 Lobbies to Change Name of the Diestelhorst Bridge

911 call takers are officially fed up with spelling “Diestelhorst.” Redding Jefferson has the exclusive.

Aaron Steinmetz
June 11, 2020

King of Redding to Reopen Theatres Following the Plague

Aaron Steinmetz
June 11, 2020
King of Redding to Reopen Theatres Following the Plague

Redding Jefferson is pleased to announce, with the passing of the plague, the King of Redding has decreed that the theatres shall soon be reopened!

Aaron Steinmetz
April 12, 2020

A.C.I.D. Canal Dissolves Another Swimmer

Aaron Steinmetz
April 12, 2020
A.C.I.D. Canal Dissolves Another Swimmer

Another swimmer dissolved in the A.C.I.D. canal and authorities are baffled: “We put it in the name! How much clearer can we be?! Why would anyone try to swim in acid?!” Redding Jefferson has the story.

Aaron Steinmetz
January 18, 2020

Courtney Kreider Encased in Ice, Still Delivering the News

Aaron Steinmetz
January 18, 2020
Courtney Kreider Encased in Ice, Still Delivering the News

Kreider, no stranger to cold weather, has managed to communicate through a series of blinks and muffled grunts. Redding Jefferson has the story.

Aaron Steinmetz
January 5, 2020

New Clinic Opening To Assist Arby's Addicts

Aaron Steinmetz
January 5, 2020
New Clinic Opening To Assist Arby's Addicts

Following on the sudden and unexpected demise of Arby’s restaurants in Shasta County, officials are scrambling to open a new clinic in the area to assist those afflicted with Arby’s addiction.  Redding Jefferson has the story!

Aaron Steinmetz
January 1, 2020

Shots Heard On New Years Definitely Gunshots Not Fireworks

Aaron Steinmetz
January 1, 2020
Shots Heard On New Years Definitely Gunshots Not Fireworks

These gunshots (which are absolutely gunshots no question we're the experts after all) reflect a similar incident that occurred earlier this year on and around July 4th.

Aaron Steinmetz
December 23, 2019

Blood In The Water: A Hard-Hitting Interview With Redding's New Mayor Adam McElvain

Aaron Steinmetz
December 23, 2019
Blood In The Water: A Hard-Hitting Interview With Redding's New Mayor Adam McElvain

Redding Jefferson sits down with Redding’s new mayor Adam McElvain in our relentless pursuit of the truth in an interview that will echo through eternity.

Aaron Steinmetz
December 18, 2019

Violent Rally Turned Peaceful On Cypress Street Bridge

Aaron Steinmetz
December 18, 2019
Violent Rally Turned Peaceful On Cypress Street Bridge

Leading up to the impeachment vote in Congress, peace ram amok as protesters and counter-protesters failed to clash on the Cypress Street Bridge. Redding Jefferson has the story.

Aaron Steinmetz
December 15, 2019

All Is Lost

Aaron Steinmetz
December 15, 2019
All Is Lost

There is nothing. All is despair. Give in to oblivion. Redding Jefferson has the scoop!

Aaron Steinmetz
November 27, 2019

Winter Wonderland Enrages Redding Schoolchildren

Aaron Steinmetz
November 27, 2019
Winter Wonderland Enrages Redding Schoolchildren

Snow returns to Redding at the worst possible time for Redding school children, and Redding Jefferson has the scoop.

Aaron Steinmetz
November 19, 2019

Best Buy Television Population Rising Rapidly

Aaron Steinmetz
November 19, 2019
Best Buy Television Population Rising Rapidly

While scrutiny has been placed on animal breeding, technology breeding has gone largely under the radar in recent years.

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